Thoughts On My Resume?!?!?

Question by Muay Thai Swede: Thoughts On My Resume?!?!?
Idris Omaz

Number 4 Private Dr.
Alexandria, Virginia-22312

Contact Information:
(Home) 703-967-7968
E-mail: G*********.com

My objective is to succeed! Exceed expectations in everything I am put to do. I’m a great team player, with strong morals! This is why I am applying for part time or full time job as a sales associate with you. As a sales associate at Radio Shack, I will bring an enthusiastic, happy, and respective attitude each and every day to work. I strongly believe that I have something special to bring such as: quick learning skills, great people skills, and exceptionally well problem solving techniques. I am trilingual in English, Swedish, and Somali.

I encountered the job posting for the sales associate position on an internet site called www.SnagAJob.com, and was referred to you by a mutual contact by the name Mrs. Pam Steenbuck, District Administrator.

There is a reason that people look to me for advice and knowledge: I am dedicated and motivated. I have the education to back up my work knowledge/skills. I am a people person and take special interest in helping people in any which way I can assist.

Thank you, for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,
Idris Omaz

Idris Omaz
Number 4 Private Dr..
Alexandria, Virginia-22312
Home Phone: 703-899-8-88
E-Mail: Goof******sn.com

Work History:

1. McDonalds from January 01, 2006- February 02, 2007
Stockholm, Sweden

Positions:
•Grill Initiator/Assembler/Finisher.
•Sales Associate/ Cashier
•Inventory, Stocking/Stacking
•Lobby

2. Education:
•General Education Development Certificate (November 25, 2008)
•Rudbecks Gymnasium, Stockholm, Sweden (2004-2007)
•Sollentuna International School, Stockholm, Sweden (2003-2004)
•Edmunds Middle School (2001-2003)
•Francis C. Hammond Middle School (1999-2000)
•William Ramsay Elementary School (1996-1999)
•Edda Skolan, Stockholm, Sweden (1992-1996)

3. Skills:
•Completion of Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint programs (Certificate).
•Can type 70 words per minute.
•Swedish and Somalian language – Excellent.
•Reliable and responsible.
•Great customer service skills.

Thank you for your consideration.

First time writing. Wadduyu think?

Best answer:

Answer by shamieya
Nix all the exclamation points. You say you have some”thing” to give and then you list many things. Change “exceptionally well” to exceptional. I don’t think people say trilingual, just say multi-lingual. Better yet, I would just say “I am fluent in…”No need to list middle schools, high school is ok if you’re young. I think you sound very enthusiastic- very nice.

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